Inspiration from 'The Fountain Head'

Its a wonderful way to think this way. Having never to worry about anything but yourself. Being indifferent to the world around you. Their thoughts dont affect you...they are like rays striking against glass; reflecting back as soon as they dare to touch you with their heat. So that you become like a granite, solid and strong, who lives only for themself. How great it would be...never having to sacrifice anything for anyone. Never having to live with illusions that you killed your desires for the sake of some "higher happiness". That you killed your soul with selflessness. How great it would be to hold up your ideals...your integrity in the face of a hypocritical world and cast your undaunting resolve in its teeth. How great it would be to have courage like that. How great it would be to be Howard Roark.

Quiet freedom

I just sometimes wonder...if a few minutes from now, my life comes to an end. Would i have regrets? Do I still have something that i want to do? The very thought of dying would scare me to death normally...not that am afraid of the very act of death...its secondary to the fear of not being able to live. I love being me. Though am not perfect. But still there is this innate desire to go further and further on. Anyway, as i was saying...would I still have any regrets? Any work left undone? No. For the first time in my life.....am pretty calm about it. It seems very stupid somehow...m sounding like some saint.

I guess the only remorse im going to have is not being able to live more and not actually getting to study in NIFT delhi..hehe. But if it would come to things being left undone...I can find nothing major as such. Its pretty weird...and depressingly aimless. Yet. It is also calming. There is this strange peace which steals through me everytime I think of this question nowadays. It reassures me, comforts me...you've done all you could have. You gave it your best...you got the results. You lived fully and now you don't have regrets. Frankly, its intoxicating. This pure primal power that you hold over fear is a glimpse of a refreshing freedom. And then you live. You live with a comfortable numbness. Steadiness. It polishes you through and through. Smoothens out the rough edges, gives an unconscious grace to the way you carry yourself and the way you go through your days. Its an unconscious dignity and new confidence. There is a renewed will to live better still. To enjoy what we have and to be grateful for it.

And I love it. Every minute of it. Being aimless was never more appealing... :)